Soothing Comfort For The Soul
by Shadow Of Castiel
Summary: Castiel comes to offer Dean comfort when Dean is ill with flu, and ends up getting comfort himself. Dean/Castiel


Summary: Castiel comes to offer Dean comfort when Dean is ill with flu, and ends up getting comfort himself.

Soothing Comfort for the soul.

I sat in front of the fire, shivering slightly despite the heat thrown over my body by the flames, and the feel of the fuzzy blanket wrapped securely about my shoulders. I stared into the flames, trying not to think too hard about the flames of Hell, licking forevermore at the edges of my consciousness.

I reached out, taking the mug of hot cocoa between slightly trembling fingers, taking a sip of the liquid gratefully. I felt it slide down my throat easily, soothing the very fabric of all that I was, easing the edge from the flu I was suffering with, and providing soothing comfort for the soul.

I still remembered the way that Sam had looked down upon me, obviously concerned about my flu, as I'd been out of action for a week, without relief. I'd sighed melodramatically, imploring him with words and looks, to just go get me some food already. That alone would make me feel better, more normal or so I'd said. He'd not quite graciously agreed to do it, nodding when I requested the standard burger, and pie, plenty of pie.

And then he'd gone, leaving me to sit in front of the roaring fire alone.

Or so I'd thought.

I hadn't heard Castiel arrive, and started slightly when he came to sit beside me, crossing his legs in an Indian fashion , resting loose palms on his knees. I turned my face to his, watching as the flames played over the calm beauty of his face as he watched the flames dance. He closed his eyes slightly against the heat, the glare, but even with his eyes half closed, it didn't hide the way the flames reflected in them, turning them a richer, darker blue than usual.

His very presence was calming in its own right; his total stability, his calmness, his peace. I took more comfort from him being there beside me, than from the fire itself, the blanket still wrapped around my shoulders, the cocoa half drunk in the mug I still held.

"You'll get better, Dean," Castiel said, breaking the silence between us. "This won't last, you know."

I didn't say anything to that, just turned away slightly from his words. And then I did speak.

"I know that, Cas. I just want to feel better, get back on the road again, hunt things. I can't do with all this sitting around doing nothing," I said, sounding bitter even to my own ears.

Castiel's eyes slid from the fire to meet mine in an intense gaze, and it seemed as if the heat from the fire was still trapped within their blue depths.

"I know how you feel," he said.

"You don't, Cas," I told him, wanting to turn away from that hypnotic gaze but finding myself unable to.

He held me prisoner, a slave to his every whim, with that direct gaze that seemed so innocent, yet held such knowledge, I couldn't make sense of it. He was beautiful in every sense of the word.

"I didn't mean the flu, Dean. I don't know how that feels. I meant the inactivity, finding yourself unable to help when that's the thing you most want to do," he told me, never taking his eyes from mine. "I go through that every day that I am with you. I see you do things, watch you go through so many trials, and I can't step in and help. My orders stop me from helping you. I wish there was some other way to get round this."

I didn't know what to say to that, didn't know that the angel's feelings ran so deeply, didn't even know that he had any feelings at all. I continued to stare, to watch him, as he returned his gaze to the flickering flames before him, a slight smile touching his lips as he basked in the warmth.

"I'm sorry, Cas," was all I could think of to say.

"Don't be sorry - not for me," he said, eyes closing, but I could still see the pain held deep within the lines of his face, by the way his lips puckered and drew together and the way his shoulders hunched slightly beneath his trench coat.

"I wish - I wish I could help you," I said next. "You don't have to follow orders, you know, Cas. Live a little, rebel against them!"

"I can't. I told you. If I do, they will kill me, you know that," Castiel said, turning helpless eyes ontop me again, almost as though he really was pleading with me to help him.

"We're not so different, are we?" I asked him. "It doesn't matter that you're an angel, I'm human - we still face the same set of problems."

Castiel nodded his slow nod of assent at me, his eyes clearing slightly when he saw I finally understood. Again, I didn't say anything, just held my blanket away from my body, inviting him into its warm embrace. After a brief hesitation, he scooted on over to me, drawing his legs, his body up close to mine and I wrapped the blanket around us both. I set the mug aside, worried suddenly about spilling the cocoa onto Bobby's carpet, before I leant more into Castiel's warmth. His eyes were closed again, a slight smile touching his lips again and he was so close I could lean in to kiss him if I wanted.

And man, did I want to.

His lips looked soft and inviting so close to mine, warm, tempting, but I held back, too scared to follow through.

Castiel cracked one eye open, caught me staring, then he smiled properly, something I'd never seen him do before. He had a beautiful smile, wide, happy, and I smiled too. Then Castiel's lips met mine and they were as soft, as warm and inviting as I had imagined them to be and I lost myself in that kiss.

I forgot my flu, forgot my pain, forgot even Castiel's pain; all I could see, feel, taste was Castiel and that was all that mattered to me right then.

I could feel the warm embrace of his wings settling around me, as soft and warm and inviting as his lips and I took comfort from them. His wings were better than the blanket still draped around us, warmer than the flames of the fire beside us and I sighed in happiness against Castiel's questing mouth.

This was what I had been missing: this was what I had spent so long looking for - peace, warmth, love, acceptance, comfort - all held within the man before me. I couldn't think in terms of Castiel as a "being" any more. Castiel had wants, needs, desires, just like any man, despite being supposedly superior to us, higher up the chain of command as it were.

I laced fingers in his dark hair, losing myself in that kiss, feeling his peace settle out and through me, sweeping all the pain, all the doubts, all the anger I had against the world and for once, I felt peace.

Castiel was my sanctuary in a mad world, as much as I no doubt was his. He was the comfort to soothe my soul, and I welcomed him in.

Castiel was the first to break away, pulling away almost regretfully from the kiss, but he remained beneath the blanket, remained with his wings folded around us both. We leant against each other for support, not speaking to each other, content to remain as we were; silent in our soothing arms.

We remained like that until Sam came back, but he did not question the way we were sitting. He just stared at us curiously, blinking owlishly at us, but didn't say a word. He merely passed me my requested food, handing Castiel a piece of pie as he did so.

Surprisingly Castiel took it gratefully, and began to eat. I watched him for a while, my own food forgotten, marvelling at the neat way he ate and it looked as though he was enjoying the sweet treat. I hid a smile when he threw me a questioning look of defiance, crumbs and pastry dotting his lips and cheeks, and I began to eat my own food.

I hadn't even realized that Sam had left us, until I heard the door closing behind him gently, a small chuckle trailing behind my younger brother. He was probably laughing at me, at my little cuddle with an angel, and I had to smile myself.

I knew that Sam would never let me live this down ....


End file.
